1/5/2010

You're gone
and I should be sad
but I won't,
because i have already shed
rivers
for my loss -
It was a long time coming.
Yeah, I know:
you fooled me -
but what memories
you
left me
with
have either been
burned,
discarded,
or tucked away
in a place i don't care to look
any more.

the sky has shattered--
fairy tale stardust
and schrapnel--
all is painted yellow-red.

no, you say you're coping
but the truth is falling down
in fragments,
a little secret clinging to the back of each.
i want to wake you up.

make you feel
alive
make you feel
at all...

if i pry open your eyes
will i see white?
like nuclear divinity...
or will two empty,
unfeeling orbs
stare back at me?

sometimes,
while you are busy
(not living)
i tell you how much you deserve
not to be here.

I hate

how everything painful is magnified by like...a million now. What is going on with me?!

Reading back on old poems brings surges of emotions that I'm not accustomed to having just over reading something I've written...

Uhg. Even writing is a painful experience as of late...

Such shit.

L.