time to let go

jaded vines grow thick,
running up my spine,
black and green,
teal running to my fingertips,
drops of fear and anger tainting the blood-pool
(she isn't yours, or anyone's)
--out of control and 
frothing from the inside,
stretching, strangling,
suffocating and seething
(the voyage isn't yours to take)
--so let her go,
free-falling through the ashen sky--
the fall won't take her life,
the dive can't take her ambition:
her roots run deep and tangled
...she will always be grounded,
in her own sense--
she will always be grounded…
(she isn't yours, or anyone's)
…so let her go.

Sometimes I think the world is spinning out of control...and that at any given moment I might find my feet unglued from this earth beneath them, my body flung from the planet--like a child from a merry-go-round--to go free-floating through the universe...

I find it hard to imagine sometimes that the grass could ever be greener on the other side...that better catches await me in more fecund seas, but I look around me and I realize that we are all growing. Life has so many more surprises and joys and sorrows to offer me and my generation in the years to come, provided we take responsibility for this world we live in.

I won't pretend that day to day events and long-term pains and frustrations don't get me down now and again, but I will say that I look around me in the faces of those growing up right next to me and I realize now that I am not alone. We are all learning, trying to get our bearings...spreading our feeble wings and diving down to meet our fates, or soar with our ancestors.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

a prayer:

false--
i wish you didn't
gather
'round me so.

what
is this
mask
i'm wearing?

why
is this
mask
i'm wearing?

i
want to remember,
she
wants to
bury
all that was.


please,
let her
lace
her fingers
into mine:

to find a
new
strength
that does not
lie
behind barriers;

they say these
journeys
are harder
on your own.